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The Verandah Man himself

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May 24, 2017

Journalist, writer, Beatle fan, serial guitar-playing pest and lawn killer.

Born UK 1955

Arrived in Australia July 1992

Verandahman was born in Llanelli*, South Wales and grew up on a diet of  boiled leeks and coal.

His earliest memory is his seventh birthday when he received a Beatle wig, which his dog ate. He is now terrified of Spaniels with black beards.

Earlier memories are irretrievable because they are in Welsh.

After attending Weston-Super-Mare Grammar School, where he was an enthusiastic member of the History Club and the Wednesday afternoon sporting smokers club, he got a job in the complaints department of a seaside holiday camp. Then he started moving up the career ladder and worked in a paper bag factory, a shoe factory, a milk bottle factory, and finally, a carnation farm.

Somewhere in between, he graduated with a BA in Humanities from Bristol Polytechnic (a sort of Lego university for armchair anarchists).

He then left for London armed with a 40,000 word art historical thesis on the effect of European surrealism on the American abstract expressionist painters.

He used this invaluable knowledge to spend five years playing guitar at night and riding a motorcycle around central London in the daytime as a courier.

He worked as a motorcycle courier for banks, translation companies, film production companies and finally for Britain’s Press Association in Fleet St.

After attending IRA bombings, Royal Weddings and births, Miss World Contests and FA Cup Finals through five freezing winters, he scored a job indoors as a picture caption writer and thus began his paid writing career which has seen him rise to the towering heights of night sub editor at the Shepparton News for eight years, before tumbling to the squalid trench of weekly columnist, feature writer, self-published author musical playwright, and finally chief of staff.

He lives with his wife Fiona in a leafy Shepparton street where he refuses to cut or water his lawn because his favourite colour is yellow.

*A mouthful of boiled toffee will help non-Celts to pronounce this.

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